


Should I Build A Wall

by That_Is_Americas_Ass



Series: Stranger Drabbles [11]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Billy Hargrove & Eleven | Jane Hopper Friendship, Billy Hargrove Being Less of an Asshole, Billy Hargrove Being an Asshole, Billy Hargrove Lives, Billy Hargrove Needs a Hug, Billy Hargrove Redemption, Eleven | Jane Hopper & Maxine "Max" Mayfield Friendship, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Roller Coaster, Everything is Beautiful and Everything Hurts, Fluff and Angst, Good Sibling Maxine "Max" Mayfield, Jim "Chief" Hopper Lives, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Minor Harringrove, Poor Billy, Poor Max, Protective Siblings, Sibling Love, Some could be viewed as Maygrove, Sorry Not Sorry, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-01-25 21:24:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21362905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/That_Is_Americas_Ass/pseuds/That_Is_Americas_Ass
Summary: After surviving the Mind Flayer at the battle of Starcourt, Billy must come to terms with the atrocities he committed while under the monsters control. With Max and Eleven, their gaggle of nerds and Harrington by his side, Billy might be able to accept the help he desperately needs.Even when he believes he doesn't deserve it.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove & Maxine "Max" Mayfield, Billy Hargrove & Steve Harrington, Billy Hargrove & Steve Harrington & Maxine "Max" Mayfield, Eleven | Jane Hopper & Billy Hargrove
Series: Stranger Drabbles [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1449595
Comments: 28
Kudos: 101





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> On behalf of the many fans who have requested my take on what would have happened had Billy lived and what would have happened right after the battle at Starcourt, this is for you.
> 
> BILLY LIVES! Like he should have in the series but the Duffer brothers are assholes who take pleasure in punching us right in the heart. To make matters worse, they decided to kill off not one, but two, of our beloved characters at the Same. Damn. Time.
> 
> Bastards...
> 
> So, we're gonna fix it. 
> 
> In this heart wrenching addition of Stranger Drabbles, we get to see what could have happened if Billy had survived his wounds. Starring our favorite bad boy Billy, Max and the Party, as well as Steve and Hopper. 
> 
> That's right, Hopper survives too, because I can't handle the truth.
> 
> The title comes from the inspiration of Pink Floyd. If you're not a fan, how dare you. If you are, high five me amigo. 
> 
> This is dedicate to one of my favorite writers.
> 
> LiteralTrashForBillyHargrove 
> 
> I know things have been tough on you lately, so I hope this brightens your day a little bit.

* * *

_Hey you, don't help them to bury the light_

_Don't give in without a fight_

_Blood..._

That was all Max could see.

Her hands were stained with Billy's blood after she tried to wake him up, screaming at him to stay with her. Her vision swam with red as she was forcefully torn away from her brothers broken body. The sound of someone screaming filled her ears, louder than anyone else around her, filling the air with shrieking cries of anguish.

She didn't realize she was the one screaming...

_Don't die!_

_Don't you die!_

_Please, Billy! Wake up!_

El and Mike struggled to restrain Max as she fought their hold, watching medics swarm Billy's maimed corpse, loading him onto a gurney to remove his body from the scene. Max's pain filled cries turned to howling sobs when she lost sight of her brother, screaming at her friends to let her go, she needed to be with Billy. 

She needed her big brother. 

Lucas, Will and Steve quickly arrived in a rush, falling to their knees beside Max to wrap their arms around her. They'd all seen the heroic last stand Billy had made to protect Eleven. It broke all their hearts to know Max had been forced to watch her brother die like that. 

"It's okay, Max, I promise it'll be okay," Will whispered brokenly, tears filling his eyes. "He's okay now...it can't hurt him anymore."

Will knew better than anyone how it felt to be tied to the Mind Flayer, becoming a puppet inside your own head, being forced to watch yourself commit heinous acts against your will. It had nearly broken everything inside of Will when he'd been possessed. 

That's why he was trying to look at the only positive outcome now.

_Billy wasn't hurting anymore..._

But hearing Max sob against them all, heart wrenching screams breaking forth from her lips that broke all their hearts, it was impossible to think _anything_ good could have come from all this chaos. 

Steve slowly pulled the shaking red head into his arms to get the poor girl off the bloody floor, letting her cling to him as much as she needed to. His heart ached for her. No one should have to witness someone they love die like that. 

"Come on...let's get out of here," he whispered, leading the way to safety. The boys all gathered around El to help her out, letting the girl lean on them for support. She was clearly exhausted and in bad shape. Her leg was still bleeding sluggishly and needed proper medical attention. Hopefully they could get some help for everyone outside. 

Max clung to Steve tightly, burying her face against his neck to hide her bloodshot eyes. She tried to pretend it wasn't Steve carrying her, wishing for her brother instead, but Steve's arms were too small and his cologne smelled wrong. 

Everything was wrong. 

It only served to make her cry harder. 

_Billy was gone..._

She'd never get to see him again. She'd never get to hear his voice again. She'd never see him banging away at the wheel of the camaro, or listen to him hum along to his music in his room, or grunting softly as he worked out, smell his overpriced cologne he used way too much. 

She would never see that obnoxious, bright smile of his again. 

Her brother was dead.

"He's gone," she whimpered quietly, digging her nails into Steve's shoulders as another sob tore through her. "He's gone!"

Steve didn't know what to say to make things any better, was there even anything he could say? The little girl in his arms had lost her brother, a guy they had all claimed to hate at one time but that was clearly not the case for Max. He wondered what had changed between the siblings to improve their relationship over the last year. He hadn't spent a whole lot of time around Billy, but there was an obvious change in the teen that outwardly showed.

Softer was not the right word, neither was kinder, it was more like Billy had become placated. 

The guy was definitely softer towards Max, but to the rest of the world he had merely become pacified. It had been very odd to see the change in Billy over the last year, given how rough the teen had been in the past, but no one really questioned it either. 

Now, Steve would never get the chance to know if he and Hargrove could have been friends, or anything more, at all. He figured he would have liked the tough guy had he gotten the chance to know him. 

He was shedding tears for Billy Hargrove.

Who would have ever guessed that?

Outside the mall, Joyce and Hopper rushed to find their kids in the ensuing bustle of soldiers and medics swarming the area. They were both worried sick about the little ones, wondering what had happened, if anyone had been seriously hurt. 

They didn't know anything. 

"Hop! There!" Joyce cried in relief, pointing across the parking lot where Steve and the children were walking outside. The adults rushed over to them, breaking into a run when Will and El caught sight of them. 

"Thank God, you're okay," Hopper mumbled relieved, scooping El up when she began to cry. Beside him, he saw Steve holding onto a sobbing Max. It was only then that the Chief noticed they were missing someone.

_Oh no..._

"Steve? Where's Billy?" Hopper asked quietly, somehow already knowing the answer he was going to get. 

Steve looked up with sorrowful eyes, briefly shaking his head.

Hopper sighed in regret and gently laid his hand on Max's back, rubbing her shoulders in what little comfort he could give her. 

_God dammit, they shouldn't have lost the kid. _

After everything they did, everything they accomplished, they still lost someone. 

Joyce came up beside them, tears streaming down her face as she wrapped her arms around Max and Steve, whispering to Max to try and console her. Will and the others stood off to the side, crying silently in remorse. 

"I'm so sorry, baby," Joyce whispered tearfully. She couldn't imagine the pain Max was in. She watched the little red head breakdown, crying brokenly for her brother to come back. 

Hopper glanced over to the medical team pushing a gurney towards an awaiting ambulance. The body lying lifeless on its surface was covered up to the neck, the blanket already soaked through with blood. 

_Jesus..._

The medics opened up the back of the ambulance, ready to load the body up away from prying eyes. The loud cries from behind them told them the young red head had caught sight of them, her desperate cries growing louder and louder. 

The oldest EMT sighed, "Come on, let's get this boy to the icebox. These young'ens don't need to see this--_holy shit!"_

The EMT jumped back, gripping his chest to calm his racing heart when Billy's body suddenly jolted upright on the stretcher. 

No one could have prepared for those lifeless, blue eyes to suddenly open. 

* * *

_BILLY!_

It became a race against the clock. 

After being declared dead on scene, the medical personnel were all shocked when Billy Hargrove unexpectedly came back from the dead outside the ambulance. They loaded him as fast as possible and drove straight to the hospital where a staff of surgeons was waiting. The amount of blood loss alone was enough to kill the teen, not to mention the shredded tissue and muscle of his upper body, but the caved in sternum is what had them all dashing. 

When the Mind Flayer punctured Billy's chest, his sternum and rib cage were both mutilated. The only reason he had not died on impact was because the tentacles missed his heart. 

Barely. 

Doctors were brought in from the Lab to help, having a better knowledge of what they were dealing with considering the Mind Flayer's parasitic qualities. 

Dr. Owens is called immediately. 

The prompt surgery is somewhat horrifying. They remove chunks of flesh hanging from bone inside Billy's chest and piece him back together. Once they repair the damage to his breastplate and wire his ribs in the correct position, they piece his skin together like a fucked up puzzle. It's enough to rattle the nurses and doctors. 

Over 30 staples and 270 stitches later...Billy is finally wrapped up and declared stable. 

Now, it was officially a waiting game.

The second Owens was free to talk, Hopper had been on him like a rabid wolverine. 

"I don't understand, how the Hell did the kid survive? A wound like that should have killed him!" Hopper cried in confusion, cornering the shorter man. 

"I've told you before, Chief, this is out of our realm of understanding. We _know_ that the Upside Down works as a unit, one brain, one unit, we figured that out with Will. But as for how Billy managed to survive that kind of injury? I'd only be guessing," Owens admitted slowly, trying to calm the raging Chief. 

"But you do have an idea," Hopper growled. 

Owens sighed, deflating somewhat under the hard scrutiny. He did have an idea, but he didn't like it. If he was correct then their fight wasn't quite over yet. 

After he'd arrived on scene and learned what had happened, he'd been given every piece of information he could get on Billy Hargrove and what had happened at the mall. The other kids were gathered in the large waiting room while Owens and Hopper spoke in private outside the hall, not wanting to involve or upset the kids any more. 

"You said that Billy was possessed like Will, correct?"

"Yeah?"

"Then that might be what kept him alive," Owens explained quickly. "The Mind Flayer connected itself to Billy not only mentally but also neurologically, like it did to Will. We know for a fact that what hurts the host, hurts the Flayer."

"Meaning if it had mortally wounded Billy...it would have killed itself," Hopper muttered, shaking his head as the realization washed over him. 

This was so messed up.

Back in the waiting room, the kids were all huddled up together on the floor beneath Joyce and Steve. Max had her head tucked against Joyce's leg and the older woman was calmly running her fingers through Max's loose hair, having taken the braids out earlier. 

Robin had gone off to retrieve Dustin and Erica, both of whom were clueless as to what went down after the gate was closed. Poor Dustin had been frantic after losing radio contact with them. It was only when Steve had seen the missing curly haired kid had he suddenly realized they'd left them on the hilltop! 

_"Oh God, Joyce! We lost a child! We lost two childs! Call the military again!" _

Joyce had promptly told Steve that Robin had already gone to get the kids herself, knowing Steve had his hands full. 

Robin arrived a couple of hours later with a frazzled Dustin in tow, having dropped off Erica at Tina's. The curly haired cutie had taken one look at his friends and collapsed into the cuddle pile with them, hugging Max tightly, whispering how sorry he was and that everything would be okay soon. 

"He'll be okay, Max. No one's a tougher son of a bitch than Billy Hargrove."

A Dustin Henderson smile could fix almost anything and for the first time that night, Max felt a small smile grace her lips. 

It was a start...

Hours had passed and daylight had broken over the horizon before someone finally came out to talk to them and let them know how Billy was. Owens arrived with the doctors who oversaw Billy's surgery. Together, they explained the extensive injuries Billy had sustained during the fight. In laymens terms they made it clear that any negative measures would be detrimental to Billy's state. 

He's stable, but that was only the first step.

His chest was the largest cause for concern at that point. With the amount of wrappings and sutures they were not worried about the wounds re-opening so much as they feared sepsis. 

"What is that?" Max asked hesitantly, afraid to know the answer but she needed to know. If anything could happen to her brother then she demanded to know the risks. 

"Sepsis is a condition resulting from the presence of harmful microorganisms in the blood or other tissues and it is the body’s response to their presence. It can potentially lead to the malfunction of various organs, causing shock...often resulting in death. However, people can survive sepsis and recover completely. Billy is a young, healthy male in his prime. He would have a great chance of surviving in the event sepsis did occur, understand?" Owens explained, breaking it down as much as he could. 

After the doctors finished giving their run down on Billy's wounds, they all shared a look before letting Owens finish with the worst news. 

"This, this is where it becomes a bit more complicated," he began gently. "Billy is in a coma, which he slipped into directly after his surgery was complete as I've been told. His brain scans are normal, which is the first thing we look at. Now, this could merely be the response to all the stress his body has undergone, but...most cases like this can either go one of two ways. One, the patient wakes up on their own or with coaxing. However, in some cases, the patient..._refuses_ to wake up."

"What do you mean refuses?" Joyce questioned, worry clouding her voice. 

"The easiest way to explain it is that Billy is asleep, by his own will, and every indication we have tells us that he is perfectly capable of waking up...but he is ultimately the one making that decision."

"So what, you're saying Billy forced himself into a coma and wants to stay asleep?" Hopper asked incredulously. 

"No, a coma is state of deep unconsciousness that lasts for a prolonged or indefinite period, caused by severe injury or illness. His body slipped into a coma due to stress. But, as of this moment, he is showing no signs of waking up."

"Do you think it's on purpose?" Lucas whispered, wrapping his arm around Max who had begun trembling. 

"I don't have an answer to that," Owens offered quietly, shaking his head in remorse. He wanted to give them all better news but that was where they stood. 

Eleven slowly came up beside Max and Lucas, looking up at Owens resolved. 

"Take us to him."

* * *

In a single word, Billy resembled a corpse...

His face and body had been washed away of any blood and black grime from the Mind Flayers possession, but his skin held an ashy grey color rather than his normal tanned pigment. 

His chest was uncovered to his waist, stark white bandages covering every inch between his breastbone to his stomach. There were more wrappings around his arms where he'd been injured as well, sticking out against his skin. If Billy were awake and saw the state of his hair he'd commit murder. His blonde locks had been tucked behind his neck messily, most tangled together in a heap rather than painstakingly styled by their master. 

Max knew her brother was going to throw a fit when he saw what had happened to his precious hair style...and his car. 

She cringed when she recalled the poor camaro. There was probably no way it was salvageable after Steve slammed into it with the other car. That camaro had been Billy's pride and joy. It was his only escape from Neil. 

Now it was gone too...

Sniffling, she quietly walked up beside the bed and gently laid her hand against Billy's arm, sighing shakily as warmth flooded her palm instead of ice cold flesh. Seeing him look so dead-like was unnerving, it was a relief to feel warm blood pumping through his veins. 

Beside her, Eleven came up as well and placed her hand beside Max's. She stared down at the motionless teen and cocked her head slightly, a pinched look on her face. 

"What is it, El?" Mike asked softly, seeing the strange look on his girlfriend. The others slowly followed, coming closer to see what was happening. 

El looked up at Mike and Max shaken, her eyes widening, "Hiding..."

Max looked confused for a second, not understanding what El was talking about, looking back and forth between her friend and her sibling. 

"Billy is hiding. It's not a coma," El quickly clarified. "The Void."

Every person in the room immediately turned their gaze to Billy's unconscious body. The teen was in the Void? How was he back in the Void? Was that even possible?"

"I...feel him," El whispered assuredly, looking at Max with hope in her eyes. "He's there."

"Then why won't he wake up? If he's hiding from the Mind Flayer, then why doesn't he just wake up now?" Dustin asked 

"Because he might not even realize he's alone in his own head," Hopper muttered, suddenly understanding what Eleven was telling them. If Billy had been pushed back into the Void then he could have been hiding from the Flayer like he had before when El found him. Hop doubted the kid even knew what was happening now. 

El knew right then that she had to do something. After everything she saw inside Billy's mind, the horrors he went through, his own bad Papa, she knew she had to help him.

Billy saved her life, it was her turn to save his. 

"I can find him again," she said with determination, looking up at Hopper resolutely. She knew he would be hesitant to let her try, but she had to try. 

"El, sweetheart, that's too--" Hopper began doubtfully, but El quickly spoke over him. 

"You said to me one time; _you can not always save everyone...but you always have to try._ Let me try to save him."

Beside El, Max had broken down in tears once again as she begged her best friend to save her brother, please do whatever you have to to save him. 

_Please save him._

And El would do everything in her power to save Billy Hargrove.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Mike asked El as she readied herself, tying a clothe around her eyes and turning the radio beside her to static. They had brought in another bed to place it beside Billy's, getting it close enough for El to reach out and take Billy's hand to help guide her. Hopper and Mike had been very reluctant to allow the whole thing but they knew better than to argue. 

This was someones life on the line, a boy who had been through enough already. 

"I'm sure," El spoke confidently. She may have lost her abilities to move objects but she still had her mental abilities. Plus, she knew she had to try for Max most of all. 

"Alright, everyone but Max and Steve, out. Wait in the hallway," Hopper ordered firmly, holding the door open as Joyce herded the boys outside. With one last glance at El, he shut the door behind him and prayed that the plan would work. 

Once the lights were turned down low and the radio static up, El laid down flat on the bed and reached for Billy's hand, grasping it tightly. 

_Breathe in._

_Breathe out._

_Breathe in..._

_Breathe out..._

_Breathe...in..._

El snapped her eyes open.

She was surrounded once more by crashing waves and squalling seagulls, salty air breezing across her face while sand bit at her hands. 

She was on a beach. This beach was different though? The mountains she recalled seeing in the last memory were gone, now replaced by towering buildings and a large wood bridge thing? It looked like a large wooden dock, jutting out into the ocean quite a ways. 

Beneath the strange looking dock was a lone figure sitting in the sand, eyes cast out into the water. 

_Billy..._

El slowly made her way over to the teen, wondering why he had chosen this setting or if it had been unintentional. The closer she got, the clearer the image became. Billy was dressed in ripped jeans, a faded black tank top with the sleeve openings ripped all the way down to his stomach, no shoes, with his long hair loosely tucked into a tail against his neck. He looked younger, like he did when he and Max first came to Hawkins.

As El reached him, she noticed the sounds of other voices not too far away, coming from the sea. Turning slightly, she saw two people out on the waves, bobbing up and down on the surface on top of a large flat board. 

'A surfboard' she thought. She remembered Max telling her what surfing was, how it was like skating but on water. 

It took her a moment to figure out that it was Max and Billy on the surfboard, her friends bright red hair catching the sun just right. Max was kneeling on the front of the board laughing while Billy paddled them further out, standing up as they caught another wave. The shrill cry of Max's laughter reached El on the beach, watching the siblings ride the wave closer to shore. Surfing looked rather fun to El after watching the duo, smiling softly at the happiness written across her best friends face as water splashed her. 

_This is another memory._

Stepping closer to Billy on the beach, El kneeled down beside him. 

"Billy? Can you hear me?"

He was silent for a moment, continuing to watch his memory play out. For a moment, El did not think he would speak to her but she jumped when he turned to look at her. 

"You shouldn't be here," he mumbled, turning his gaze back to the ocean. A small smile formed when he watched Max flip the surfboard. 

"Billy, the Mind Flayer is gone? We won. The gate was closed...you're free," El whispered slowly, knowing Billy more than likely didn't know the truth. There was no telling how long he'd been trapped inside his own head. 

Billy's smile faded to a gentle frown, melting into a mournful gaze. 

"She's crying..." he mumbled brokenly, looking up at Eleven. "Why's she crying?"

"Who's crying, Billy?"

"Max."

El looked confused, glancing out at the joyful Max surfing on the ocean, not understanding the question. When she focused her hearing though, she could hear a faint echo of quiet cries reaching them. 

_Max must be crying beside them on the outside._

"Max is okay, Billy, but she's worried about you. You have to wake up," she pleads with him. "We have to go home."

Billy stares off into the sea for a few more minutes, El's words ringing over and over again in his head. 

_We have to go home. _

Home.

He _was_ home. 

"If I go back...then I'll lose this," he murmured mournfully, watching himself surf with Max leaning over the nose of the board, her hair whipping around wildly as they rode the waves in the fading California sunlight. 

He was happy here, he and Max were happy _here. _

"Billy," El whispered sorrowfully. "You know this isn't real."

To her surprise, Billy turned back to her with a sad smile. 

"I know," he whispered with a soft shrug, his gentle smile turning tearful. "And I'm okay with that..."

The soft look in his eyes was one El knew well, having seen it in herself when she looked in the mirror every single day. 

_Shame._

"You're afraid," she stated quietly, understanding now why he was so reluctant to return to the world. "Why are you afraid to go back?"

Rather than answer her, Billy merely choked out a broken laugh at her question, his eyes shining now with unshed tears. 

"Because if I go back, I'll lose the only one in this world I care about..."

It took a moment for it to sink in what he was saying.

'Max,' El thought sadly, watching Billy wipe at his eyes. He shook his head and glared up at her halfheartedly.

"I know what I did. I saw everything he made he do...I watched those people beg me for mercy before that thing got to them. I remember _everything_," he whispered. "You think I want to go back and see the pain I caused? The suffering I caused? You think I want to see how Max looks at me when she learns about everything I did? I won't do it..."

"It wasn't your fault," El stated adamantly. Her words didn't mean anything to him though, he didn't believe her. 

"You were inside my head before. You saw what he did to me and my mom, right?"

"Bad Papa," El muttered angrily, recalling the horrific memories she'd witnessed inside Billy's mind.

"My mother left me because she couldn't take living with the monster my old man had become...and I'm no better. I killed those people for that thing. I handed them over on a silver platter and watched them lose all of their humanity. How is that not a monster?" he asked brokenly, another tear rolling down his cheek. 

"I can't lose Max. I won't lose her like every other God forsaken thing that I care about, I won't lose her too. Why would I risk going back when everything I want is right here?"

El knew Billy's resolve was unwavering, for he had it in his head to stay rather than return with her to the real world. She understood his guilt, having gone through it herself, and she could sympathize with him on an emotional level in a way others couldn't. Now if only she could make him understand that staying locked in a dream was not the answer to his problems. 

More importantly, Max would be left heartbroken if Billy did not wake up. 

El couldn't let that happen...

Sighing, she let herself sink down beside him in the sand, turning to stare at the surfing siblings. 

"...I opened the gate," she stated miserably, seeing Billy look at her from the corner of her eye. "I was raised in a...bad place. Papa made me a...weapon. I find people. He made me hurt people...people he said were bad men...people like him. If I didn't do as he said, he would lock me in a room until I would, alone. He...hurt me...if I didn't hurt others."

"I accidentally opened a door inside the Void. Mike, the boys, we called it the Upside Down...it's where the monsters come from," she explained softly. "Will was taken by the monster I let loose...Barbara was---she was killed by i-it."

She whimpered, tears slowly falling down her cheeks, picturing Barb's mutilated corpse once more. "I didn't mean too. Everyone that died, anyone that was hurt because of the monsters...it's my fault, Billy. I let them out, and I t-thought I closed the gate...b-but they got you too..."

"It got you too...a-and I am so--I'm _so_ sorry, Billy," she sobbed desperately, wanting nothing more than to take back all the pain she had unwillingly caused him. 

Everyone who died, it was because of her actions. She had to live with that guilt every day, knowing she could have stopped it earlier before she'd looked for the Demogorgon like Papa forced her to. If only she'd escaped sooner, things would have been different. For that, she would most likely never fully forgive herself. 

But, she knew that she had done everything in her power to fix it as well. 

"If you think you're a monster...then so am I."

"You're not a monster, kid..." Billy whispered. "You're just a girl."

"And you're not a villain," she muttered back, smiling softly. "...you're just a boy."

Leaning closer, she slowly reached up to turn his face towards her. Those cool blue eyes stared at her sorrowfully, still so full of guilt. 

"I know you're scared," she whispered, cupping his face gently. "If there was anything to forgive you for, Max has already done it...but Billy, she will never forgive you if you stay here. No matter what punishment you believe you deserve, it's not this...you have to wake up."

"How?" he whispered, looking at El again. 

"Follow her voice."

Straining his hearing, Billy could just barely make out words faintly coming from somewhere on the outside. He knew it was Max, he'd know her voice anywhere, but he couldn't understand what she was saying. It all seemed strung together in a blurred mass of noise. 

"Just follow her voice, Billy."

_Follow her voice._

For the second time, they watched those stormy blue eyes suddenly open.

* * *

It had been a flurry of motion when Billy awoke from his self-induced coma, the terrified teen fighting instantly to escape the chaos around him. 

Steve quickly pulled Max away from Billy's thrashing body before she accidentally got hit, hearing Hopper and a throng of medical staff rush past him to try and control the violent boy. Billy bit down on the ventilator down his throat, tears welling up in his eyes as Steve and Hopper try to get him to calm down. 

Knowing they can't sedate him so quickly, Hopper turns around to where Max is standing against the wall with El to stay out of the way. 

"Max! Come here!" He demanded quickly, urging the girl over. 

Max wasted no time shoving her way closer to the bed, watching her brother fight against the mass of bodies struggling to hold him down. She got as close as she could to Billy's head and called his name, laying her hand against his shoulder. 

_That did it. _

Billy stopped writhing the second he heard his sisters voice, turning his head slightly towards her but was unable to see her due to his blurred vision. He blindly reached for her and Max jumped to grip his hand in her own, wincing a little at the tight hold. Billy's larger hand nearly crushed her tiny one but Max held steadfast, unwavering. 

"Alright, do what you gotta do, Doc. You've only got a short time frame," Hopper growled. 

Owens rushed in to help, getting Billy somewhat upright to help them remove the ventilator quickly before Billy fought them again. 

"Billy, I know your freaked out right now, but I need you to focus for just a few moments. I'm gonna get this tube out of your mouth, okay? I need you to cough and hack as hard as you can when I tell you to, understand?" 

Billy somehow managed a small nod, tightening his grip on Max even more when Owens began the short countdown. It was unbelievably painful having a thick tube removed from your throat, gagging instantly at the strange feeling. 

_He mentally apologized to every girl who'd blown him in his life!_

The moment the ventilator was removed, black slime suddenly began to ooze out of his mouth. 

Steve raced for a trashcan as Billy spewed black gunk, helping the other teen keep his upper body on the bed while Max held Billy's hair back. 

"Is he gonna be okay with all this crap coming out of him?" Steve asked dubiously, grimacing at the vile sludge. 

That was _so_ not sanitary!

"I know it looks bad but trust me, it's a good thing. It's what's left of the Mind Flayer after Billy regained control. It's just like the human body ridding itself of a virus, it's normal," Owens assured them all, wincing a little at Billy's pain filled gasps. That must have been very painful with his chest the way it was. 

Hopper grabbed a washcloth from the bathroom and ran some warm water over it, silently handing it to Steve. Once Billy stopped gagging and had purged himself of all the _Upside Down confetti,_ Steve wiped away the disgusting sludge from his skin as fast as possible, tossing the vile rage into the toxic waste bin. 

"Alright, let the kid get some rest. Everyone out," Hopper commanded in his Chief of Police voice, pointing to the door. The doctors and Owens all left hastily, followed by the nurses. 

Steve moved to one of the chairs beside the bed and made himself comfortable, or as comfortable as one could on the _uncomfortable_ hard surface. 

"I'll be outside on watch, I'm not takin' any chances with the Russians still out there and the military fiasco that's going down. You good here?" Hopper gestured to Billy and Max, already knowing Steve was planning on staying. 

"We're good," Steve said, watching Max slowly crawl up onto the bed to lay beside her brother. 

Hopper left them to themselves, taking El with him to let Joyce and the boys know Billy was awake. He'd send them all home and have Joyce take El for the night. He planned on taking up the first watch outside Billy's room until he could get his officers to come in. 

He wasn't taking any chances. 

Back inside Billy's room, Steve looked through the multiple cabinets until he found a stash of sheets and blankets, pulling one out for Max and one for himself. Billy had already let his body succumb to exhaustion after wrapping his arm around his clinging sibling, keeping her close to his side. Careful to not wake Billy, Steve gently covered Max up and whispered for her to try and get some sleep. It only took a few minutes for her to pass out like her brother. 

_'__Damn uncushioned, beige colored monstrosity!'_ Steve grumbled in his head, trying to curl his long body up into the chair he had taken. It was ungodly confining but he managed to squeeze himself up onto the hard surface. Burritoing himself in his own blanket, he settled down for long night ahead. 

And boy was it gonna be a long night...

* * *

Hawkins was in an uproar. 

The days following the Starcourt Mall disaster had been nonstop mayhem for everyone. The Lab techs had tried to cover their asses, Russian soldiers were detained by the military, the clean-up efforts for the mall had been put on hold and also, every conspiracy theorist and reporter within 100 miles had flocked to Hawkins like starving wolves!

All in all, the small town of Hawkins Indiana had become a booming story. 

Officials tried to explain the mall fire by saying that it had been caused by some kids, a 4th of July prank that had escalated out of control when the fire hit a main gas line. People ate it up, amazed that no one had been killed and wondered if the cops had any leads on who was responsible. 

Thankfully, the Party was in the clear. Having alibi's that they had been at the 4th of July celebration festival. Steve and Robin, by some miracle, were not questioned about their whereabouts and were in the clear as well. 

Billy, however, had been a little harder to explain. 

Hopper went with the story that Billy had been in a major car crash, considering the camaro was totaled, and that it was being classified as a hit and run since the camaro had clearly been side swiped. 

The hardest part was explaining all the missing people during the 4th of July festival. 

With a little help from Murray, that too was quickly covered up. He'd offered a simple solution, with the on-going case involving a secret Russian base located in Hawkins that the government had admitted to, all fingers pointed in one direction. 

"Let's blame the Russians."

"Sure, let's go with that."

Some big conspiracy is soon unfurled. People taken after seeing something they shouldn't have or taken as experiments, innocent folks killed like Barbara Holland. With a few pictures and a phone-call to the _Times_, the story spread like a wildfire. 

Now, they were only left with one major problem. 

A disgruntled and resentful Billy Hargrove...

After Billy had woken up, properly, he had been less than cooperative with the staff assigned to him. Due to the extensive damage to his sternum, recovery is slow. He has been confined to the hospital bed for over a week straight, making him an absolute _delight_ to be around...

"I'm perfectly delightful," Billy growled at Max who was behind him, she was painstakingly brushing through his hair as gently as possible. She and El had washed it as best they could and had tried to control it, but Billy's hair was uncooperative when it hadn't been washed _properly._

The last few days had been...tense. 

Max and El were the only ones Billy would tolerate near him. He would snap at the nurses, sneer at the doctors when they asked him questions, not falling for Owens bubbly personality for a single second. Besides his girls, Billy would briefly endure Steve and Hopper when they came into his room but his short temper and uneasiness made it difficult to tolerate them for long. Max was used to Billy's snappish attitude when he was unhappy, so it didn't phase her in the least, but Steve was not and didn't always stick around in the room for too long if he thought Billy was in a mood. 

What none of them realized, except Max, was that Billy was acting so short-tempered with everyone because of his physical situation. He couldn't stand to rely on others for anything. His irritable mood and constant flashbacks had made sleep nearly impossible. A few short hours without a sedative was all Billy could manage. All that did was amplify his foul mood, ten fold. 

Max tried to be there for him in any way she could. She never tried to talk to him about what happened, nor does she bring up anything Upside Down related, knowing her brother will only shut down. She has spent every single day with him while he was in recovery, only leaving for short periods to grab a shower and change clothes, sleeping with him at the hospital each night. 

The siblings become somewhat inseparable. 

Max was afraid to leave Billy alone for too long, needing the assurance that he is truly alive and well. 

Billy had become paranoid about letting Max out of his sight, even for a short while. His internal battle against his growing fears of abandonment had caused him to become abnormally clingy. It wasn't a needy or obnoxious thing, it was more like a fear of watching Max leave the room for some reason and waiting tensely for her to return. He still had flashbacks of the night the kids trapped him in the sauna. That had been the closest he'd been to Max since the Flayer possessed him and his panic had been enough for him to regain his senses for a moment, begging her to believe it wasn't his fault while silently screaming at himself to tell her to _run_. It had been too close. He'd been forced to watch himself break through the door, fighting the monsters hold on him, terrified he would kill his baby sister. 

Thank God El had subdued him...

After re-living the horrors he'd committed, his daytime nightmares had slowly begun to worsen. He would jump at every noise, cast his eyes around the room if it became too dark for his liking, flinching at any object coming close to his mouth. 

It had not been a fun week. 

"_Ah!_ Watch it, shitbird, it _is_ attached!" he grumbled roughly, jerking his head away from Max's hands. Instead of bitching at him to hold still, Max merely apologized softly and continued detangling his hair. She had been unusually accepting of his abusive tongue while in the hospital. Every bait he set to get a rise out of her had failed, along with every jab or insult he could think to throw to get her to argue with him. 

He didn't want to fight so much as he just wanted to argue.

Arguing with Max was always fun. She gave him just as much shit as he gave her, sometimes more if she was in the mood to quarrel with him. Some of their best verbal disputes had ended in raucous laughter, seeing who could fire off the best insults. 

_You're a bowl of limp lettuce and the warm ranch dressing on top of it!_

That was by far one of his favorites, followed by his favorite of all time. 

_Somewhere there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen for you! You owe it an apology!_

He'd almost broken a rib laughing at that one, watching Max fall to the floor giggling after she'd yelled it at him. He missed those moments between them. 

"Hey strangers, how's it going?" Steve knocked on the open door, announcing his arrival. 

"Harrington," Billy grumbled, wincing as Max pulled at a particularly persistent knot. 

Steve had made it a habit to drop by once a day to check in and hang out in Billy's room for a few hours, mostly conversing with Max, often trying to engage Billy in some light banter. The two teens had put their past rivalry to bed long before summer had begun. 

"It's going," Max smiled lightly, gesturing to her brothers hair. Steve had been told all about Billy's constant bitching over not being able to wash his damn hair. 

Max had brought her brothers hair products from home when she brought him clothing, the hospital finally allowed him to wear his own shorts and tops if he chose. She'd even managed to track down his old Sony Walkman so he could listen to his music, but to her surprise he declined, stating he just couldn't handle the loud noise yet. 

She hadn't questioned it. 

The hospital staff had also removed the large wrappings around Billy's chest, keeping only a thick gauze bandage taped over his injuries so the wounds could breathe. Billy had forced Max to leave the room until his chest was covered again, not wanting her to see the vicious looking scar tissue. 

"Have you asked about taking a shower today?" Steve wondered aloud, watching Billy flinch once again at a tug. Sponge baths could only do so much and Max had done all she could to get Billy's hair clean but it was a lost cause. He needed a shower, a real shower. 

"Haven't got the chance," Billy grunted. His next round of pain meds was due in just a few minutes, maybe he could ask whatever nurse came by if a shower was in the cards yet. At that point he was ready to rinse off with a damn water hose. 

Steve was about to reply when the door opened behind him, one of Billy's doctors strutting in with a clipboard and a syringe of pain medication. 

"How are you feeling this morning, Billy?"

"Like a demonic monsters bitch, can I get these damn stitches wet yet or what?" Billy growled, straight to the point, glaring at the older doctor as his IV was injected. 

"Is there any way he can get a shower today?" Max asked politely, smiling apologetically for her brothers vile attitude. Most of the nurses knew that Max was sweetheart and offered apologies for Billy's short fuse. 

"I'll need to examine your wounds first," the doctor explained, grabbing a pair of gloves from the exam bench. 

"Out," Billy grumbled at Max, nodding towards the door. 

"Billy, I--"

"Now."

Max huffed quietly, sliding off the bed to head for the door. She figured she would go get something from the vending machine to pass the time. Steve slipped her some money before she passed him and winked at her. 

"Go get some lunch, kiddo. I got him."

Nodding in thanks, Max smiled at Steve before heading out. 

Billy watched the brief exchange through narrowed eyes. He wouldn't deny that he was slightly jealous of how quickly Max had warmed up to Harrington. 

"Okay, let's have a look." The doctor gently removed the large bandage from Billy's chest, easing the tape from his skin inch by inch. With the new pain meds kicking in, Billy didn't feel a thing. 

Probably for the best.

After a quick examination, the doc proclaimed that the wound was healing properly, as it should, seeing no sign of any serious inflammation or redness that would suggest infection. 

"I'd say you're good for a rinse, Mr. Hargrove, though someone will have to assist you."

"Oh, _fuck no_\--" Billy sneered, but Steve quickly jumped up and claimed he would do it, no need for a nurse or an orderly, he was more than capable. 

Once they were given the all clear, Steve dug through Billy's pack and pulled out his shampoo and a change of clothes. A kind looking nurse gave him a few towels and showed them to the locker room area, letting Steve push Billy in a wheelchair to their destination. 

Billy let Steve wheel him to the locker room showers, choosing the largest shower stall built for disabled patients. The chair in the shower is large but it takes Steve a minute to maneuver Billy into it, being that he was no where near as strong as Billy and the guy was made of pure muscle. Steve gets them both down to their boxers, turning the water to scalding hot like Billy asked.

The second hot water bursts down to soak his aching head is damn near orgasmic, the sheer relief causing a moan to escape Billy's lips. 

"Careful, Hargrove. Noises like that and those poor nurses won't think we're showering," Steve teased him lightly, smirking when Billy kicked at him. 

"Fuck you, Harrington."

"Yeah, dude, that's what their gonna think is happening if you don't stop moaning."

The two teen dissolved into laughter, mocking each other playfully while Billy washed his hair off. For a good 5 minutes, all Billy did was sit beneath the hot spray, enjoying the feel of warm water running down his face and shoulders. 

Steve hands him his shampoo and body wash, letting Billy do all the work on his upper body. The only thing Steve even had to help him do was wash down his legs real quick, being that he couldn't bend down with his chest the way it was. 

_His chest..._

Billy glanced down at the criss crossed pattern of his scars across his once perfect pecs, his open shirt days were done for. 

"Hey, I can already tell what you're thinking and you're wrong," Steve stated firmly beside him. 

"You don't even--"

_"Wrong!"_

Billy rolled his eyes and waved his hand up, "And what, pray tell, am I wrong about?"

"Those scars you're sporting? They're fucking badass. They prove to everyone that you survived. Sure, they hurt like Hell now but imagine when you're healed? All they do is add to your bad boy persona you've got, and anyone who thinks otherwise is _wrong._ Get me?"

Stunned, Billy can only stare at Steve silently, his eyes softening as if to say _thanks. _

"You ain't so bad yourself," he smirked. 

"You'd be _so_ lucky to have me," Steve smirked right back. 

After soaking for another 15 minutes, Billy eventually gave in and, reluctantly, dried himself off. Now that he felt human again and didn't have a rats nest in his hair, he felt much better. 

Steve helped him to the bench, getting him into a pair of loose black shorts and a sleeveless Hawkins High basketball shirt. Together, they manage to get Billy back in his wheelchair. 

"Thanks, Pretty boy," he whispered with sincerity as Steve began the journey back to his room. 

"Anytime, Amigo."

* * *

It's been weeks. 

Weeks of laying in a hospital bed, recoiling at every minor thing, watching shadows dance around the room like they might attack him, shuddering with each new memory that surfaced. 

He could remember all their faces. 

Heather, her parents, every victim of the Flayed rats, the little boy from the pool, the couple out at Lovers Lake, the old woman outside the library. He could see every one of their faces through both the eyes of the Mind Flayer and his own. When he had hesitated in attacking Karen Wheeler, the monster had begun to push him back into the recesses of his subconscious, piloting his body as though it were an empty vessel. 

He'd been able to fight the urge to harm Karen...but he couldn't stop it from getting to Heather. 

After watching Heather's head slam into the shower stall at the pool, his hands wrapped tightly around her neck, he'd begun to give in to the Mind Flayers urges to let it take control, not wanting to see the atrocities it would force him to commit. 

The only other time he'd managed to fight back was to try and protect Max and the kids, breaking free on his own. At the mall, when El managed to get inside his head and bring him back, he'd been ready to do whatever it took to save her life. He knew the Mind Flayer feared El, but he hadn't known why. All he knew was that the monster had a nefarious plan for the little girl. 

He wasn't about to let that happen. 

If you had asked him what was going through his head when he decided to take on a giant beast alone, he probably would have said _don't get killed. _

But in reality, he'd had many thoughts racing through his mind. 

_Don't let it kill her. _

_I'm sorry. _

_I didn't mean to. _

_Forgive me, Max._

_...please just let me die. _

And he thought he had. 

It was the reason he tried to sum up enough energy to tell Max he was sorry before letting the darkness take him. He could still hear her crying over him, her tiny hands gripping at his shoulders to shake him, begging him to wake up. 

He didn't want Max to cry because of him...he never had. 

"What are you thinking about?"

Beside him, Max was curled up on her side messing with the Walkman radio, the soft lull of the Beatles coming through the headphones around her neck. It was evening, a little past 5, and Max had been listening to music for the last couple of hours. She was looking up at him with curious blue eyes, the same ocean blue eyes that ironically matched his own even though there was no blood between them. 

Billy stared at her silently for a few moments, mostly taking in the details of her face, like it's the first time he's seeing it. 

Max had always been a tomboy, turning her nose up at the cute dresses Susan would beg her to wear. She kept her fiery hair wild, scoffing at braids or ponytails, rarely allowing anyone to touch her red locks. It was only recently that Max had begun to choose more feminine clothes, wearing her hair up in braids, adding more color to her closet. The kid was growing up fast, a little too fast if you asked Billy, and he knew for a fact that his baby sister would grow to be one Hell of a heart breaker. 

Her bright blue eyes, round face that had lost most of its baby like softness, her fair complexion that fit her better than her California tan. Max wouldn't always be able to hide her beauty like she tried to now. It had always been a cliché dream of Billy's to be the asshole big brother that would scare off any boys knocking at the door. Billy may have been a cruel, spiteful dick...but Max would always be his baby sister, no one would ever be good enough for her in his eyes. 

Those were nothing but pipe dreams now. 

Not only had Max made it clear she could handle herself, which had always been the case because he taught her how, but she also made it _abundantly_ clear that she didn't want him interfering with her love life. 

What she didn't understand, though, was the reason Billy was so overprotective of her. 

He was terrified of losing her...

He'd watched his parents marriage fall apart. He'd been forced to watch his dad beat his mother bloody, her body shielding him from harm. He'd watched the only woman he ever loved walk out the door and leave him behind because he couldn't protect her. It didn't matter that he had only been a child, he would always blame himself for not being able to save his mom from the monsters they lived with. 

In all his life, Billy had only loved two people. 

And he couldn't go through the pain of abandonment, not again.

The only problem, now, was that he felt like he deserved it. Why should Max stay with him? What had he done to deserve her? 

_Not a God damn thing, that's what. _

"Billy?" Max asked again, looking up at him in concern at his continued silence. 

"Why are you with me?" he asked suddenly, turning his gaze away. 

Max sat up then, removing the headphones and turning off the Walkman, giving her brother her full attention. "What are you talking about?"

"Why are you staying with me? Why are you even still here?" he growled, frustration crawling up his spine from all the fucking anxiety running through him. 

He wanted to hit something. 

He wanted to scream. 

He just wanted everything to stop!

"Because you're my brother," Max stated plainly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I don't want you to be alone right now."

"I fucking deserve to be alone after what I did! Why the Hell don't you see that!" he raged, fists flying up to grip at his head when more nightmarish images flashed through his mind. 

_Make it stop!_

"Billy, it wasn't your fault!" she cried, tears filling her eyes as she watched her brother break right in front of her. "Please, you have to believe it wasn't your fault, you did nothing wrong!"

"I _killed_ people, Max! Do you understand that? I. Killed. Innocent. People! If I hadn't of crashed that night then none of this shit would have happened! I shouldn't have even been there to begin with but I was fucking bored and stupid a-and it nearly got me killed! Why should you be here worrying over me when I'm no better than that fucking monster!"

"Billy, p-please, stop--"

"You want to know what I'm think about? I'm thinking about all those people I handed over. I'm thinking about the kid who was only 9 years old, screaming because he was scared. I'm seeing every face that _thing_ took to make itself stronger. That's what I'm thinking about!" he yelled furiously, glaring at the shadows beginning to fade into the room. 

Taking a shakey breath, he felt a tear trail down his cheek when he thought about Eleven's terrified brown eyes looking up at him.

How was he supposed to live with that?

"I'm the only guilty one...why should I live when they can't?" he whispered, exhaustion beginning to set in after his brief tirade. 

He doesn't want to be a victim anymore...

Max was looking at him with sorrowful eyes, tears streaming down her cheeks, dejection clear in her sad eyes as she choked back a quiet sob. 

"You promised," she whispered brokenly, sliding off the bed, quickly evading his grasping hands to stop her. 

Regret rapidly filled Billy's chest, cursing himself for saying that shit to her. He hadn't meant to unload all that bullshit onto her. 

"Max--" 

Before he could stop her, Max turned and walked out of the room, ignoring his desperate pleas. He begged her to come back, fighting against the sheets confining him. If he had the ability he would have jumped up to follow her but his body wouldn't allow it. 

"Max!"

In his agitated state of distress, Billy failed to notice the rapid pulse of his heart monitor nor the alarm blaring inside his room. Bodies rushed in, swarming his bed and cold hands began pushing at his limbs, keeping him as still as possible. There was someone speaking to him but Billy couldn't make out the words. His head was filled with the rush of blood in his ears, panic bursting inside him, making it impossible to understand what was around him. 

There was a sudden, sharp sting in the crook of his arm. Voices continued to speak around him, footsteps running around his bedside. 

_They drugged him...bastards..._

As the darkness set in, Billy fought against the hands holding him down, tears streaming from his eyes as he begged Max to come back. He could feel his body shutting down from the sedative they'd jabbed him with. 

The last thing he thought of was Max's tear filled eyes.

_I'm sorry..._

* * *

Steve had been in the middle of attempting to make chicken tenders for his dinner when the doorbell rang. Checking the clock he noted it was a little late for company at half past 7. He rubbed his hands off on a dishtowel before heading to the front door, wondering if it was one of the boys or maybe Hopper. 

He definitely didn't expect to see Max standing on his front step with red rimmed eyes. 

"Max? What happened?" he asked worriedly, pulling Max inside quickly. "Did you walk here?"

"I needed air," she said softly, shrugging slightly. 

"Max, the hospital is 3 miles from here!"

"Oh," she mumbled. "Sorry...I think?"

"Why didn't you call me? I would have come to pick you up."

"I wasn't exactly thinking straight, I just started walking...I didn't even realize where I was going until I saw your neighborhood? I don't have any change either, so I couldn't have called you."

Steve could tell something was eating at the little girl, something had clearly happened to make her so upset, but he didn't want to bombard her with questions. He knew she must have left the hospital quickly because the nurses would have gladly let her use the phone. 

"You hungry?" he asked softly, nodding towards the kitchen. "I was just getting some dinner going. Nothin' fancy, chicken tenders and some sweet peas."

"Could we have sweet corn instead?" she asked quietly, biting her lip. 

Steve smiled, "Damn right we can."

After a quick meal and some hot chocolate, Steve got the rundown on what had taken place at the hospital. He knew for a fact that Billy was in a bad spot mentally, who wouldn't be after the chaos he went through? He just hadn't realized how bad off the other teen had become.

He never would have guessed Billy would become suicidal. 

Then again, there was still a lot he _didn't_ know about Billy Hargrove. 

Max had explained, very briefly, that Billy's personality was based off their home-life. Her brother was the way he was because of bad people, people who hurt him, people he couldn't be saved from. Steve had only met Neil Hargrove once before, a short encounter after a basketball game that he'd filed away. While everyone else had congratulated him and Billy for their skill, Neil had only criticized Billy's minor flaws. Steve had seen the flash of unease cross Billy's face afterward, quickly covered by a sneering smile that was beyond fake. 

It didn't take a genius to see the picture Max was painting. 

There had been another conversation Steve recalled from Dustin, the boy mentioning how Lucas told him that Max told him that Billy and his dad argued, _all the time._   
How many of those arguments flourished into knock-out blows?

It depicted Billy in a different light. The mean guy, the badass, the bully who took shit from no one because he'd been molded into a faux villain. 

No wonder Billy portrayed himself as a monster.

It was only after Max had calmed down and guzzled another cup of hot chocolate that Steve remembered a part she'd skipped over. 

"You said Billy promised you something," he asked gently. "What promise?"

Max went silent for a minute, staring down at her cup, gnawing on her lip. She knew Steve wouldn't say anything to anyone. 

Friends don't lie. 

"Promise me you won't say anything?" she demanded, holding up her pinky for a swear. Steve didn't hesitant to grab it with his own, having had to pinky swear Dustin a million times already. 

"What did he promise you, Max?"

Max bit her lip once more and averted her eyes, wondering if Billy would be angry with her for telling Steve the truth. With everything thats happened though, she needed Steve to understand why she was so upset and hurt by Billy's words. 

"He promised that we would go back home," she whispered. "Back to California..."

"Billy had everything planned out. He's been saving money since he was 15, hiding it so Neil would never find it. He p-promised me--he promised that when I was 17 we would leave...we'd just pack what he could and get the Hell out of there. His plan was to go back to the ocean, back where we're from, find a place near the beach," she smiled sadly, sniffling. "We'd change our last names...start over somewhere new. As far away from our parents as possible..."

Steve was shocked, to say the least, by the quiet confession. If you had asked him a year ago what he thought of the siblings he would have said they hated each other, but now Max was saying that she and Billy had this whole grand plan of running away to California? 

"I know you probably don't understand, and that's okay. But, Steve...I do love my mom, but I don't have to like her. She changed after she married Neil. All she does is cower from him, hiding like she's afraid she'll be next if she tries to stand up to him a-and I--I can't deal with it anymore! I'm terrified that my step-dad is gonna go too far one time and hurt my brother, but I was willing to live with it for 3 more years, just 3 more years and we would be free from that--t-that _psychotic_ asshole!" she sobbed, covering her eyes and wiping at her runny nose. 

"He promised! He p-promised he w-wouldn't leave me! He--" she collapsed against Steve's chest, broken ugly sobs bursting from her. 

Steve wrapped his arms around her as tightly as possible, giving whatever comfort he could. He wasn't very good with crying kids but Max needed him. 

Better yet, she needed her big brother. 

Well, Steve would do all he could to act as a temporary replacement until he could get Max back in her brothers arms. 

_He wasn't called Hawkins Best Babysitter for nothing._

Soothing the girl in his arms, Steve really hoped his old rival pulled himself together. If not for himself, then at least for the little red head that needed him most. 

* * *

The next morning, Billy was flipping one of his music tapes over in his hands mindlessly, wondering if he should try actually listening to his tunes for awhile to pass the time. He wasn't in a great mood. 

In fact, he was down right depressed if he was being honest. 

When he heard the soft click of the door opening, he whipped his head up hoping to see a flash of red. His chest clenched when he saw Hopper's towering frame fill the doorway instead of his sister, like he'd been hoping to see. 

"Hey kid, brought you some company," Hop smirked, stepping aside to reveal a smiling El. 

Billy couldn't contain the soft smile as he watched the little girl flounce into the room, settling on the bed beside him happily. He watched Hopper shut the door as he left, mentioning how he was gonna track down Owens and talk to him, leaving the two kids alone. 

"And to what do I owe this nice surprise?" Billy smirked, sitting up a little more. 

"Max called me," El explained quietly, giving him a gentle smile. 

Billy wasn't surprised in the least. His sister and El were not only best friends, the two were almost connected at the hip when they were together. 

They also told each other everything.

"She's pretty pissed at me, isn't she..." he muttered, watching El's eyes soften at his melancholy tone. "Guess I can't blame her."

El looked at him with those brown, doe eyes of hers, full of empathy. On anyone else it would have ignited his rage to see, but with Eleven he knew it was nothing but sincere. The little one before him had been through Hell, just like Billy. She understood his pain better than anyone ever could, and he understood hers to an extent.

"Did you fight?" she asked suddenly, still staring at him unwavering. 

"What do you mean?"

"Did you...give up? Or did you fight?"

Her question momentarily baffled him. Of course he fought, he wouldn't just roll over and let some beast take control of him. 

"Yes?" he replied slowly, still confused as to where the line of questioning was going. "Course I fought. I wasn't gonna lay down and die for that thing."

El smiled brightly, "Then what did you do that was wrong?"

Billy was about to explain all the things he had done when he suddenly stopped short. 

_...what had he done wrong?_

"If you fought it and tried to stop it, then you did nothing wrong, Billy."

El's kind words sunk into him, making him think about how true they suddenly were. Her words echoed in his head, over and over, causing him to actually stop and think about it. 

Sure, before all this shit had happened, he was probably the worst thing to roll into Hawkins since, ever. He treated people like they were nothing, bullied them to his will, made people feel just as low as he did when it came to Neil. He'd slowly become like his old man. 

That was the last thing he'd wanted. 

But, really _hurting_ people...hearing those innocent folks begging him for mercy right before the Mind Flayer possessed them...it tore him up inside. It physically hurt him to be forced into that horrific role. 

_That wasn't him. _

He wouldn't ever do that...he could never willingly hurt someone like that. 

Glancing up, Billy reached for El's hand and gave her a gentle squeeze. It was his own way of saying thank you, for everything. He didn't think he would have been able to think about all that without the subtle push from her. 

_Kid was really starting to grow on him. _

"Billy?" El asked quietly, giving him another small smile. "Tell me about California?"

Now _that_, he could do...

The two ended up talking for hours. Billy told El about his life back in California, his days spent in the warm Cali sunshine. He recounted stories of him teaching Max to surf, parties he'd gone to, friends he'd been forced to leave behind after moving. El would tell him funny stories about the boys, her interest in learning to speak proper English, how annoying Mike could be sometimes. He told El stories about his mom, her weird shell collection and her love of sea glass. How they'd spend hours on the beach combing through the sand looking for treasures. It was a past time he'd been unable to share with anyone else due to the emotional attachment he had to it from his mother. 

It was easy to talk to Eleven and Billy felt a weight lift from his chest the longer he spoke to her. 

He hadn't noticed how much he actually wanted, needed, to get out in the open. Things he didn't want to talk to Max about. Shit that had been piled up inside of him for God knows how long. It was easy to tell El everything because somehow he knew she would not see him any differently afterward, just as he wouldn't judge her for anything she felt comfortable enough to share with him. 

El had honestly become his blessing, in the disguise of a innocent doe, eyed girl. 

Before long, it was past noon and the door opened up again. Billy hated how every time he heard the door he prayed to see red hair, disappointed each time it isn't Max. 

Rather than his sister, it was Owens and Hopper, along with a couple of nurses. 

"And the vultures return..." Billy droned with an eye roll.

"Nice to see you've got your sense of humor back," Owens smirked. "I think you'll be happy with the news today. We want to get you up outta' that bed, get your legs under you."

"You want me to walk?"

"Just around the hallway, with some help of course."

Billy seemed hesitant about that, sitting pliant as the nurses unhooked him from his machinery. He wasn't so sure he was ready to walk. His legs still felt like jello.   
It took a minute, but they eventually get him unhooked from everything and get him to the door, his legs slowly but surely shuffling at a turtles pace. 

"I'll walk with him," Hopper offered, though more like commanded when a couple nurses stepped forward. He wrapped an arm around Billy to keep him upright, moving at whatever pace the kid needed. It was clear that Billy was getting sick of the hospital staff.

It's a slow trek around the quiet hallway. Every step Billy took hurt like a bitch and his legs felt like overcooked noodles. 

"Today of all days would be the time they take me off the good shit," Billy grunted tiredly, earning a hearty laugh from the Chief. 

"They're cruel like that."

By the time they make it back to Billy's room, the teen is exhausted and practically collapses back onto the sheets. Owens praised him on the short success, waiting for the nurses to finish hooking Billy back up before making his exit. 

Hopper stared down at the wounded teen, watching him with a critical eye. Something is obviously wrong. Hop knew there wasn't much he could do for Billy, but it couldn't hurt to try. 

"What do you need, kid?"

Billy glanced up at the Chief silently, not enjoying the look of pity in the mans eyes. He doesn't want any help, but a part of him knew Hopper could help him get his sister back. 

* * *

Billy wasn't sure when he fell asleep. 

After being forced to walk the hallway and suffer through another physical exam of his injuries, he'd promptly passed out from the taxing workout his body had endured. Looking out the window, he could see only dark skies and soft luminosity from the hospitals security lights outside. It's when he tried to lift his arm that he suddenly realized he wasn't alone. 

Glancing down, he saw red hair fanned out over his arm... 

_She came back._

Max was asleep, pressed up beside him in her usual spot tucked against his ribs. She was wearing jeans and one of his old Metallica shirts. Her feet were pulled up under his leg for warmth, her arms snuggled up against her chest. 

Minding his injuries, he slowly rolled towards her and wrapped his arm around her. The little red head grumbled at the jolting movement but did not wake up, in fact she burrowed closer once Billy tugged her against him. Running his fingers through Max's wild mane, Billy felt the emptiness inside him slowly begin to fade. 

Even when he didn't want her to, or she shouldn't, she always came back. 

He'd push her away, she'd push right back. He'd yell and rage, break things, scare her, yet Max never stayed away for long. She never gave up on him. 

What did he ever do to deserve this kid?

"I'm sorry..." he choked quietly, burying his nose against her hair. "I'm sorry, Max."

He swallowed back another choked noise, his throat feeling tight. He needed to get all this shit off his chest, what better time then now?

"I know that I--I know I say things you don't like, or I do shit that makes you angry. Truth is...I'm scared," he muttered, miserably. 

_Fucking get a grip, Hargrove..._

"I'm fucking scared. I--I'm scared there's gonna be a day when you--" he stuttered, clenching his jaw to fight back the wave of emotion coursing up his throat. "When you see you don't _need_ me...and that scares the Hell outta' me. You've never given up on me...even when you should have. Even when--w-when I wanted to give up on myself. I'm sorry I didn't understand that sooner..."

He _was_ sorry for that. 

He knew Max loved him, that was never something he questioned, but somehow he always thought that wouldn't matter in the long run. His mother had loved him too...so what the fuck did love have to do with it?

Now, he knew his baby sister would go to the ends of the Earth for him, just as he would for her. The little shit had become his world and he would do everything in his power to keep it that way. 

"St'p blub'ring..." Max suddenly grumbled half asleep, turning her face against his chest. 

Billy could have laughed or rolled his eyes at her. Here is was, being an emotional wreck and she says _stop blubbering. _

Typical. 

"Don't tell me what to do," he snarked lightly, pinching her side just to hear her whine. "I can promise you two things, kid. One, I'll never leave you. Promised you before, we're goin' home. Second that clock strikes midnight, we're gone."

He promised her he would take her back home and he would. The second she turned 17 they were wheels up and fuckin' gone. Nothing in the world would ever make him go back on that promise. 

Not a damn thing. 

He would take them far away from their neglectful parents and start a new life, a better life, somewhere else. Max could go back to school if she wanted. He could live without fear of going home to a drunken father. He could take care of them both. 

And he would. 

"Wha's th' oth' p'mise?" Max softly mumbled, sleepily cuddling closer. She probably wouldn't even remember the conversation come morning, but Billy knew it was one he would never soon forget. 

"I may not always be able to live for _me_," he whispered, pressing his lips against her hair. "...but I can live for _you_."

_That he could promise..._

_Fin_


	2. Authors Note Update

I'm alive...sort of.

Okay, for starters, thank you everyone who has continued to read this series and I promise you all I'm still writing it. Some of you may be wondering why it hasn't been updated.

Let me explain...

So, to begin, I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas season and a happy new year because mine Fucking Sucked. Let me explain! I almost died...there, there ya' have it. 

Okay, for the story, in a nutshell, back in the beginning of December I came down with a little sniffle. Just a little innocent sniffle that I didn't think anything of. M'kay, fast forward a week and a half and that innocent little sniffle turned into a bit of an annoyance. Coughing, sneezing, whole bit. I still didn't think anything of it because, hey, winter sucks and you sometimes get a little sick, who cares. Fast forward another week and that's when all Hell broke loose. 

To sum up what life has been like around my place for the last 5 months of the year was this; my husband and I have been building his mother a cabin on our property by ourselves. It hasn't been easy but we got it done. While I was building her stone fireplace, I inhaled mortar dust.

You ever done that? No? Fucking don't do it...

So, unbeknownst to me, that pesky dust caused me to have a lovely case of chemical poisoning. Now, you can get over chemical poisoning like that pretty easily. It's basically like having a cold. Your body fights it off like any infection, so I wasn't concerned. 

Fast forward another week...

I run and opperate an animal sanctuary. I have horses and large livestock that I care for around the clock which means I spend quite a bit of time outside. I also live in the Tennessee mountains and winter here is not fun. What I didn't know was that I was a little worse off than I thought. 

Que, passing out in the barn...

Come to find out, I had been walking around for weeks with a pretty servere case of pneumonia! AWESOME.

Doctors proceed to tell me that they are not exactly sure how I had made it as long as I had, but then again I don't really function like a normal human being. I honest to God walked around with a broken left arm for over a week before having it x-rayed to see why it hurt, and that was when I was a kid. Bones like steel, survived gullbladder attacks and a burst appendix, pain and sickness don't have a good relationship with me! 

Turns out, long story short, my lungs were both damaged and my body had just given out. Lots of meds and firm bedrest, followed by 5 solid weeks of being confinsed to my recliner or the bed, I haven't been able to work from my home office to write anything. 

Except for this because I am finally recovered!!! It's a good thing too because there is only so many times you can watch Beetlejuice before you start to lose what little sanity you have left...

Alas, my children, I have returned from the bowels of death. And what's the moral of this tale?

Don't. Get. Pneumonia.

**Author's Note:**

> So that happened. 
> 
> Sorry...not sorry. 
> 
> As always my loves, read and review. I live for comments and kudos, as you all know. To my friends who this was dedicated to, I hope you enjoyed it. 
> 
> Until next time, Amigos!


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